The Looking Paradox

Judgement & Jealousy rarely come from those that are doing better than you are in life. Judgement at times from a mentor, but that is on him to deal with. In a day-to-day life, we are told to always covet that of another. We should try our best to keep up with Joneses, otherwise they may think we are lesser. What a terrible reality to doom yourself to. Imagine your future if you sell off every piece of it in order to fit into someone else's view of who you are. Who are these onlookers to decide who you are? That is a conversation between you and God my friend. Let's for a second discuss if you were to sell yourself short in order to please others. Your morals would be non-existent, in order to please everyone, you give up all autonomy to morality. You would most likely be stuck in a boring job, unfulfilling, stressed about money, possibly overweight, sad. Your love life probably doesn't look much better. By giving yourself away to others you give up who you are at your core, something that will find you on the receiving end of divorce papers if you don't change.

The reason I called this the Looking Paradox is to discuss how we view our lives, how others view them, and the impact the viewer has on reality. Firstly your view on your life is the most important. If you view money as bad, you won't have any. If you hold the belief that you are a nice guy, you will be taken advantage of - if you let it. Your beliefs, actions, words, and thoughts play the most important role in who you become. It doesn't matter how other people see you; You need to see yourself in your desired reality, to live in it. That being said, some may call self-love & care Narcissistic. It is not. Narcissism requires there to be a victim from whom something is taken. In Self care and Love there is no victim other than the negative thoughts & beliefs of the individual. If you want to learn to look at the stars and imagine a future amongst them, you need to be able to gaze into the abyss. To look up, you must look down. The general point here is to take time to yourself and be conscious of the thoughts you have. Change your actions to mirror the reality you want and remove what doesn't align.

Other people are interesting in the regard of self. Life is but a mirror, and most people don't realize that they see in others what they refuse to look at in themselves. How many times have you had a person tell you "You can't do that." Probably more than you can remember. This is part of the paradox as well. Everyone supposedly wants you to achieve, but at what? Do they want you to chase your dreams and your passions? If they do, keep those people. Most however will point out the flaws & failures. The statistics of how many businesses fail and how it's so dangerous and stupid. I want you to take a step back and realize that this is projection. All these people may mean well, and most do. However, they can't help themselves from projecting their own insecurities onto you. If they never started a business, took the leap, became their dream... Well it's hard for them to see a future for you where they couldn't see one for themselves. As I said, most people want you to do well, but only to the extent you don't break the mold that their brain has made for you.

So to maximize your abilities to shift reality it is important to understand who is viewing and who is acting. At all times we as individuals are the ones acting. In any good performance the actors want to please the audience to get the great standing ovation at the end. In your life up until this point that audience could have been made up of your family, friends, relatives, coworkers, etc. I want you to kick them out of the auditorium, not physically, mentally. Replace those viewers with your future self. How would you act in the present moment if the only person who would give you applause was your future self? What would make them happy? How would I change my actions, thoughts, beliefs and words? Vastly different. Try to implement this into your own life by taking stock of all the viewers in it. What are their opinions of you; Do they want you to chase the goal or play it safe? Mentally rehearse your own narrative and only accept outward pressure if it comes in the upward direction. With conscious thought about your future and proper safeguarding of your energy from those that don't share your view anything is possible. Love you guys and Thank you for reading.

King Duffey